1. It's torture to wait for the next book in the series to come out.
Whether you've waited in line for your copy, pre-ordered months ahead of time, or simply sat around re-reading the previous books and biting your nails with impatience, you know the feeling.
2. Bookmarks are never there when you need them.
Thus you resort to napkins, receipts, movie ticket stubs, junk mail...
No comment on those people who use toilet paper.
And to those people who fold the corners down, we shall condemn you to reading Twilight for the rest of your life.
3. Book hangovers are real.
You know that feeling you get when you finish a fantastic book and you wander around in a daze thinking, "No book will ever be so good. I can't possibly read another book for the rest of my life"?
Yup. Book hangover.
4. You get irritable when you haven't read recently.
Reading is fuel, therapy, and inspiration wrapped into one beautiful, papery package. If you haven't found the right book to hit that sweet spot, or haven't had time to read at all, the withdrawal symptoms can be deadly to those around you.
5. You dream of creating the perfect book-dragon lair.
(Muggles call us bookworms. I agree with whoever took exception to that: We are indeed book dragons.)
You want the spinny book-case leading to a secret library. You want the five levels of floor-to-ceiling books. You want the perfect window-seat in which to sip coffee, tea, or hot chocolate while reading.
Yup, if you win the lottery someday, you know exactly what you'll do with it...
6. A bookstore is a dangerous place.
First, it enchants you with its strange magic, so that you cannot walk by without getting sucked in.
Next, it warps your perception of time, until you forgot what else you were supposed to be doing. Only the books matter.
Finally, it mysteriously drains the money from your wallet whilst simultaneously adding unread treasures onto your shelf.
7. People have no sympathy for fictional deaths.
Somehow the world still goes on, even when you're processing the death of a favorite character.
"Just get over it" isn't even possible. That character was real to you.
8. The world conspires to interrupt you just as you reach the best part.
It never fails. The final climactic battle has come and suddenly someone needs your help, the phone rings, the lights go out, or you realize you desperately have to go to the bathroom.
Can't we ever finish the last five pages of a good story in peace?
9. Nobody has read that book you are currently obsessing over.
It is the best book ever! How is it that no one you know has read it?
Thus begins your impassioned campaign to make sure that all your friends have been properly educated on the beauties of your current favorite book. This includes a lending program of all five of your personal copies, multiple Facebook postings of excerpts, and long five-star reviews on Amazon and Goodreads.
10. You scope out your friends' bookshelves.
And sneak peeks at the contents of their books when they aren't looking. If they are book-dragons, they'll understand. If they're not, why do they bother to have books? They should give them all to you.
Which did you relate to the most? Share in the comments below!
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I write YA/adult fantasy & sci-fi that burns through the darkest realities with truth and redemption.
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