3 Tips for Better Dialogue

1. Keep a question or observation close to the response.

“I didn’t see her at the costume party,” Jim said. “Did you see her?”

Ariadne studied her brother, and the mournful droop of his shoulders. She had noticed his growing interest in Phoebe, the pianist at church, but Jim was not a hasty man. He took his time. She approved of Phoebe, and was sorry for her brother, who watched and waited for the right opportunity to get to know Phoebe a little better.

“I didn’t,” Ariadne said at last. “Perhaps she was sick.”

By the time we get to Ariadne’s response, we can’t remember the question. The reader has to review the question again before understanding the response, and continuing the story. I recommend keeping any response as close as possible to the triggering question or observation. At the most, allow only one intervening sentence.

2. Avoid question and answer.

Good dialogue is rarely a one-for-one ration, with a question, an answer, another question, another answer. Real people don’t directly answer each other’s questions or respond to each other’s thoughts. (See my post “Converse Obliquely” for a more in-depth discussion of this concept.)

In the few cases when you do have a Q&A session, you can liven it up a bit with responses that don’t answer the question directly.

The officer stabbed his electronic clipboard with his stylus. “Mileage, please.”

“320,000 lightyears.”

“A lot of LYs for a small ship.”

“What can I say? Satellite repair keeps me moving.”

“Name on the title?”

“George Washington.”

“George…” The officer stopped, and his stare drilled Will. The young man stared back, unblinking, one corner of his mouth quirking upward in a silent dare.

“Name on the title?” The officer spoke the words as if they were bitten off. Will sighed.

“The name on the title is William Levine.”

“Your name?”

“William Levine. Duh.”

“Age?”

“Twenty-two.”

“Any crew?”

“One. Jeremy Smith.”

“Smith?” The officer raised one eyebrow. “I’ve come across a lot of Smiths today. There will be background checks, you know.”

“Look, you’re welcome to call him Jeremy Stuart, if you like. I’m sure he’d prefer it. But you asked his name and I gave it.”
From my sci-fi novel-in-progress entitled PRISM

3. Use dialogue to describe.

Some time ago, I gave myself the challenge of deliberately writing a book that would rely more heavily on dialogue and body language than on description. Rather than opting for a long, descriptive paragraph, I turned to dialogue as my descriptor. Obviously, this will not work in every circumstance, but it’s worth experimenting with, at least as a practice technique.

Minimal back-up lighting, powered by solar rays, still lit the interior of the other ship. Jem navigated gingerly around several loose cables that hung from the ceiling. Will whistled as he stepped through the corridor.

“Talk about luxury! Just like a picture in a brochure: ivory-colored upholstery, gold detailing, walls with designs of inlaid wood and mother-of-pearl, illuminated flooring and wall panels for a soft ambience… I tip my hat to the architect. If I ever get a luxury cruiser all to myself, though, it’ll have more red in it.”

“Red?”

“Matches my hair.”

“And your personality.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“As you like.” Jem forged into the cockpit and flicked a switch on the dashboard. With a brief whir, the controls lit up in blue. 
From PRISM

If you’ve never tried to narrate an entire story mostly through dialogue, then I would suggest trying it, as my #1 recommendation for improving your dialogue. I learned a great amount about effective dialogue simply through this experiment alone!


What is your favorite tip for excellent dialogue? What do you find most challenging? I would love to know what your experience has been. Comment below!