Jack & Tollers: The Plot Hole (Episode 6)

Ever since Donkey-Hero tossed his long blond hair and started making jibes about the deficient physical appearance of the others in the Festival of Heroes, he's been the snooty background character that tweaks Jack's nerves. Now, he's about to be... Jack's partner in the Second Trial.

Episode 6
​The Plot Hole

 Motivating an entire team of Minotaur heroes had seemed impossible, but Jack had done it, and now he felt almost fond of his teammates. Having managed to survive the First Trial with over a dozen teammate, how hard could it be to have just one teammate?

Well, since Team Minotaur would be split up into competing pairs, Jack should choose the one he would prefer not to have to compete with.

And that would be Donkey-Hero.

"I'm Jack, handyman." Jack stuck out his hand. "And you are?"

"Romeo, body-skiller."

"Come again?"

"I can change the body's appearance to appear more pleasant--or less pleasant--as I choose."

"Your own body or someone else's?"

"Anyone's I choose. But only by request." Donkey-Hero--excuse me, Tollers, it's going to take a while to think of him as Romeo--turned toward the Minotaur and sniffed. "Phew, that beast's face is hideous! Maybe I could grow its eyelashes a little bit?"

"So you're like a magical plastic surgeon?"

"Why would anyone perform surgery on plastic? Sounds useless."

Jack decided not to comment. He glanced down at Colonel Sherwin Edward Gladdenbury Kerfluffle the Fourth, who was deep in conversation with the orange bullfrog.

"My boy," said the pug, turning to Jack. "I would love to continue accompanying you, but, as it turns out, I am due in Genovia for an appearance with Princess Mia. Special invitation."

"I wish you a pleasant journey, Sherwin. It was truly a pleasure to meet you."

"Likewise, Jack-of-all-trades. You never know. I'll probably turn up again just when you least expect it."

"You would always be welcome in my story."

The pug dipped his head in a canine salute and trotted off, his purple-and-green waistcoat shining in the sun.

Romeo, meanwhile, was scoping out the available spectators and gestured to one.
​
"You there! Apparel-skiller! I don't like these dreadful Minotaur uniforms. Black washes out my natural color. I want green."

The apparel-skiller, a lady who could not take her eyes from Romeo, obliged willingly, but soon became flustered as Romeo's specific tastes revealed themselves to be difficult to satisfy. "No, no, that's too kelly green. I want it more of a mid-tone garden green. I need a little white ruffle at the throat too..."

"Contestants!" bellowed the bull frog. "Prepare for the Second Trial! In this trial, you will have to survive the Plot Hole. Once you pass through that glowing crystal gate, you and your teammate must identify the plot hole and pass through it, surviving its danger."

Jack narrowed his eyes and folded his hands over his chest.

Chimp-Heroine raised her hand.

"Yes?" asked the bullfrog.

"Will we need any equipment? Like a rope? To climb out of the hole?"

"You will find all the equipment you need to fix the plot hole within the trial itself."

Duck-Hero raised his hand. "And the team that survives the plot hole and makes it to you wins, right?"

"Right."

Romeo raised his hand. "Do we get to shower first? The salt-water from the last trial ruined my hair and I won't want my heroics to look less impressive because of it."

"You do not get a shower."

"But..."
​
"Ready, contestants? Go!"

The rearranged contestants of Team Minotaur dashed toward the crystal gate, which throbbed with a lavender and azure light that baffled Jack's eyes. Remembering the last trial, Jack hung back as the others disappeared within the gate, their bodies translating into light particles as though they were being Star Trek-beamed to another location--which, for all Jack knew, was exactly what was happening. Romeo disappeared within the group, shoving one of the Viking-type heroes out of the way while muttering, "This competition is going seriously downhill. No artistic value at all..."

Following his muttering teammate, Jack stepped purposefully through the gate.

The first thing Jack noticed was that he stood at the edge of a huge earthen hole, about thirty feet in diameter and nearly full with the contestants, including his own teammate. They really should remember not to run toward unknown danger.

"Comfy down there?" Jack asked, thrusting his hands in his pockets and observing the futile efforts of the trapped contestants to clamber back out of the hole.

"Help us out!" shouted one of the heroines.

"I'm dirty," said Romeo, sighing. "Already. This is the worst day ever."

Who here had a skill that could help the company? Jack held out his hand and closed his eyes. The gesture would probably look impressive, though he doubted it would help him to review the available skills. He visualized the skills in a scrolling array.

Air-skill. Food-skill. Metal-skill. Size-skill. Bird-skill. Sight-skill. Word-skill. Breathing-skill. (That was a skill? Maybe it helped her to breathe in airless circumstances?)

Size-skill. That would do. Jack borrowed it and directed the supernatural skill toward Romeo, who suddenly began to grow, his blonde head and shoulders thrusting upward from amongst the throng of teammates.

"No, no, no!" shouted Romeo. "I already had a professional size-skiller determine that my optimum height was 6 feet, 1.2 inches! You are RUINING my perfect physique!"

"Your optimum is too short," Jack replied mildly. "Now climb up and let's get going."

"What about us?" shouted one of the contestants, as the original size-skiller caught on and began to grow.

"You're air-skill, right? Blow yourself up."

"I beg your pardon?"

"You know what I mean. And you, bird-skill: Call an eagle. Breathing-skill, dig your way out and up through the side of the hole. Really, do I have to spell it out for you?"

"I already know how to spell it," grumbled the word-skiller. "I-T. Duh."

Jack diminished Romeo to his usual size and they continued on their way as the others began more intelligent efforts to extricate themselves from the hole. 

That was when Jack realized that the entire landscape ahead of him was filled with holes. Some were small, some wide, some shallow, some deep.

"It's like the sheep all over again," Jack noted. "Obscure the hole you want with a whole bunch of holes. But how would I know what kind of hole is the plot hole?"

There was nothing else to do but wander through the landscape, considering each new hole they came to. The other teammates dashed from hole to hole, working up an indecent sweat and growing increasingly irate. Romeo was impatient to win the challenge, but would do nothing that would compromise his good appearance, and sweating was therefore out of the question. Jack, for his part, had observed that hurrying did not seem to do well in the game. It was better to take a thoughtful approach.

They started at one end of the hole-riddled field and worked they way toward the other end and then back. They passed a rabbit hole in which the White Rabbit invited them to tea, a large hole in which the Forty Thieves whispered and cast dirty looks toward any potential intruders, a hole in which the word NOTHER in block letters appeared to grow from the earth, and holes of various other types. 

Romeo counted them. Exactly one hundred holes. And none of them, it appeared, was the plot hole.

After a while, the heat of the sun became overwhelming and Jack seated himself by the Rabbit Hole, swinging his feet over the edge and wondering if it would be worth it to throw himself down just to find the coolness of the shade.

"Why are you sitting down?" said Romeo, sniffing. "You'll get grass stains on your backside."

"Move a little to your right," said Jack, "and you can be my shade."

To Jack's surprise, Romeo laughed and seated himself by Jack.

"What about the grass stains?" Jack asked.

"I'm already wearing green."

"Good point."

Romeo squinted at the various competing pairs who blundered from hole to hole. Most of them had given up the heroic expressions and were looking downright murderous.

"Look at them," said Romeo. "It's pathetic."

"I know," nodded Jack sagely. "They should have some order in which they visit the holes, so that they know which ones they've already inspected."

"No, their appearance. It's obvious that none of them uses Tru-Shine Shampoo. I'll bet you anything the man with the horrid dreadlocks uses glue."

Jack laid back on the grain, shaded his eyes, and muttered to himself, I'm certain I'm missing something."

"Yes. Good looks. I could try to improve upon them..."

Jack levered himself up suddenly on his elbows. "Ugh, it's those thieves again. What are they doing, anyway?"

A chorus of hoarse whispers rose from a hole nearby. Romeo leapt to his feet and reached the edge of the intriguing hole before Jack did. 

"Hello?" he called down. "What are you all doing?"

"Shh!" said one of the masked and turbaned figures at the bottom. "We're plotting."

"Oh. Well, don't let me disturb you."

"That's it!" shouted Jack, scrambling to his feet. "That's it! The Plot Hole! Come on, Romeo!"

And without further explanation, he grasped his teammate and jerked him over the lip of the hole.

The Forty Thieves screamed and scattered, but before Jack and Romeo landed upon the bottom of the wide hole, there was a sharp ​fizzle​ and Jack felt as though his body had been dismantled into a million tiny pieces. Then he landed on his feet in...

"How odd," said Romeo. "We're back in the water maze again. Why is that?"

"Because," said Jack. "Something inconsistent happened here."

"Oh," said Romeo. "You mean the fact that there was no Medusa?"

"What?" Jack observed his teammate.

"The bullfrog said that we had to make our way through the maze, past Medusa, without being turned into stone. But I was more worried about being pushed into the water, so I never bothered with Medusa."

"But we never saw Medusa. Ah. Right. Inconsistency."

OKAY, said the transparent water-letters. I FORGOT ABOUT MEDUSA ONCE I HIT ON THE IDEA OF THE WATER IDIOMS. BUT I'M AN AUTHOR. I WORKED IT TO MY ADVANTAGE. THAT'S HOW IT WORKS.

"Obviously," said Jack. "Well, I assume that in order to fix the plot hole, we have to survive Medusa?"
​
YOU GET ONE OBJECT TO HELP YOU OUT.

Option 1
A mirror.​


Option 2
​​A pair of glasses.


Option 3
A mongoose.